@juliussharpe: Facebook's "People you may know" should be called, "People you definitely know and have been avoiding".
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@pudding_club: The year is 1981. Everybody's working for the weekend. 2044: the weekend becomes sentient. 2048: Everybody's working for the weekend.
@whatmaddness: Are you sure you just saw 1 spider, or was it actually 1 spider + 500 spider babies on her back? Anyway, have a good day.
@leechee420: Wow bro, that pot leaf tattoo on your neck really makes the colors of your Burger King uniform pop.