@PwrFulWmn: Facetious. Because I like to use all vowels, in order.
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@archerenemy: Twitter...because if it can't be described in 140 characters or less, did it really ever happen?
@_eric_alexander: I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Why do you love me? Wife: *shrugs* Me: Why do you find me annoying? Wife: *reveals six spreadsheets and a pie chart*
@capricecrane: Alanis Morissette sings about having 10,000 spoons when all she needs is a knife. And nobody asks why she has 10,000 spoons?