@PwrFulWmn: Facetious. Because I like to use all vowels, in order.
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@Underchilde: If you drop food on the floor in public, it’s proper etiquette to look around and see who noticed before shoving it in your mouth.
@Sirrruh: My friend Stephen misheard me when I invited him to this CrossFit gym. He's going to have a hell of a time running in stilettos.
@Gre_Gone: Me: *ziplines into wedding* "Sup nerds?" *pants get caught and tear off leaving me dangling naked upside down* Priest: "Ooh a piñata!"
@BuckyIsotope: Did your date order honey for dinner? Did your date eat the waiter when he brought the honey? Is your date a bear? You are dating a bear.