@ashlar36: Fact: Canadians are legally allowed to be late for work once a week for 'reindeer related delays.'
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@donni: Guy on this bus just congratulated his friend for having a birthday. Indeed, congratulations are in order for this unique accomplishment
@CrystalTheRed: Laundry Day Me: Tell me about this lipstick on your shirt. Him: Babe, I can explain! Me: Don't care. Just ask her the brand and shade name.
@KevinFarzad: Real girls have curves. A real girl is just one long, continuous curve. Do not date girl unless she is a parabola.
@HavocMantis: I had to grease a lot of palms to get to where I am today *cut to me oiling up tropical trees* haha excellent