@ashlar36: Fact: Canadians are legally allowed to be late for work once a week for 'reindeer related delays.'
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@trevso_electric: Nice job Instagramming your plane ticket with enough personal information to take out a mortgage in your name.
@MelanieShebel: I'm not saying the Internet lies, but there is an alarming discrepancy in the number of iPads I've won and the number that I actually own.
@jrza206: her: how about we go to this restaurant? I heard it's earned two Michelin stars me: [trying to impress] my car has four Michelin tires