@SteussieErica: FACT: Had kids for one reason; to send them to the basement for paper towels when I run out of them in the kitchen. It's scary down there.
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@notalogin: Guy: What do you do? Me: I tell jokes on Twitter G:No, I mean, what do you do to support yourself? Me: I tell myself that they're good jokes
@slimmy_shady: Hey Pringles, It's time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn't exactly thin-wristed. Thank you!