@markydoodoo: FACT: if a cop says FREEZE and then you say "now everybody clap yo hands" he has to drop his gun and clap and then you can get away.
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@TheCiscoKidder: Wife: Go out for breakfast? Me: Sure! Wife: Ok, let me shower first. *showers, dresses & puts on makeup* Me: Where should we have lunch?
@Reverend_Scott: I don't understand how people in the Walking Dead are living in the zombie apocalypse and they still look more well rested than I do
@DaHess1: I told my dentist I wanted whiter teeth so he named them all Bryce and moved them to a gated community.