@markydoodoo: FACT: if a cop says FREEZE and then you say "now everybody clap yo hands" he has to drop his gun and clap and then you can get away.
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@DarzieDAMN: That artsy picture you took of your Jack Daniels really spoke to me. It said "This persons an alcoholic but still takes decent pictures."
@Xoolun: Cops: Jay X? Me: Yes. Cops: Your dog has been reported to have chased someone on a bike. Me: Thats bullshit my dog doesnt have a bike.
@CerebralWreck: Wife [interrogating]: How long have we been married dear? Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.