@trevso_electric: Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won't understand how many calories are in it.
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@LaziestCanine: [teenage girl reading horoscope tweets] "Gemini's go to sleep when they are tired" HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO ME
@Brewsker: You can literally say "the night is young" at any time of day or night. Nobody is policing this.
@BrianIncognito: I turned to her and said "We're all just seeking validation, aren't we?" She just ignored me, stamped my parking ticket, and handed it back.
@Fred_Delicious: Age 8 - "I can achieve anything" 18 - "should I buy a lobster farm?" 28 - "if you are watching this then I have been killed by lobsters"