@hello_saylor: Fact: it's impossible to look tough while getting a snack from a vending machine. You're all, "Wheeee! A tiny bag of Cheetos!"
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@TheBoydP: I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
@NourHadidi: Last weekend, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie tied the knot in a small intimiate ceremony attended by 20 of their closest children.
@jwoodham: Some people say America is obese, but I blame our flag. Everyone knows that horizontal stripes make you look fatter.