@BlindVigil: Fact: men are never too busy for sex. It's been clinically proven, 9 out of 10 men will find time for sex while fleeing a burning building.
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@SethMacFarlane: I wish I could explain to my cat that when I sneeze it doesn't mean the world is ending.
@pleatedjeans: [school teacher job interview] Can I ask you some questions? I don't know CAN you? haha impressive [stands] welcome aboard!
@TravLeBlanc: Women aren't that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
@murrman5: can you start monday at 8? "yes, thank you for the opportunity" [calls new boss at his home on sunday night] hello? "am or pm?"