@Darchstar078: Fact: Roughly 40% of my childhood was spent preparing for the day I fall into a pit of quicksand.
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@trentistweeting: [all the dairy products r hanging out] Milk: lets go drink Cheese: yea Yogurt: yea Whipped cream: my gf says i cant. its scrapbooking night
@TheCiscoKidder: I have no problem feeding my kid something that fell on the floor, so I get it, restaurant employees.
@TheTweetOfGod: Media, stop using the phrase 'breaking news'. It's been broken for some time now.
@polyhumorous: I got my husband to marry me 51 days after we met. Today is our 20th Anniversary and I think he's still wondering what the hell happened.