@egg_dog: facte: you eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. always 28. if you are about to die and you have only eaten 3 then 25 spiders arrive at once
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@mattgallo123: The cool thing about driving 15 mph in a school zone is that it makes it so much easier to text.
@hatehug: I've been listening to Pink Floyd for the past 2 hours. I'm about to just go ahead and skip to track 2.
@brynnester: My wife likes to make love with Barry Manilow in the background. It's as awkward for him as it is for me
@Inferno_V: 6: Mommy where are you putting your cameltoe this year? Me: 6: I like it Me: It's mistletoe son