@XplodingUnicorn: Failed long-term relationships are never a total waste. They teach you valuable life skills, like how to carve profanity into car paint.
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@iamhorcrux: Grading system for students in India: A - Average B - Below average C - Can't have dinner D - Don't come home F - Find a new family
@dance_blessed: The club can't even handle me right now. Like, the club's just had a very emotionally draining day and the club's been in a weird place.
@markleggett: How many kids do you think Wolverine has? Because a vasectomy would heal in seconds and he doesn't look like he'd wear a rubber or pull out.
@KingRainhead: Boy: do u have any fantasies Me: ok.. so.. the library of alexandria is under siege& Im a librarian whos good at fighting& I save the books