@ShoutingGoddess: 'Failed to send tweet,' is Twitter's polite way of saying, 'Dude..'
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@mollzbenn: I brought a hot glue gun to the gun range and it was awkward at first, but now we've created so many memories.
@notfaizzy: I knew this girl, she's really deep; she'd always find a reason to preach about how size does matter...
@gorrdano: I've replaced my friends insulin with heroin. This is the most expensive prank I've ever done but it's ok, I'll rob him when he's dead.