@ShoutingGoddess: 'Failed to send tweet,' is Twitter's polite way of saying, 'Dude..'
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@The_MartiniGirl: Pretty sure I just did some classical ballet move as I got off the computer chair to get to the kitchen and saw a spider on my floor.
@sammyrhodes: Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me.
@NoTrophy4You: When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?"."Not yet," she replied
@Reverend_Scott: Guys; if she stops responding to your messages for days, 100% of the time it's a technical problem. Keep trying.