@CornOnTheGoblin: [fake yawns to put my arm around date but it's so i can pet her dog who is also on the couch]
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@Boobzillaz: Where does the Easter Bunny lay his eggs?! In the grass.. So WHAT DO WE SMOKE TO CELEBRATE?! [all the children] Grass?? Yessssss.
@SteelCityDawn: Bought $200 sunglasses. Lost them in 15 minutes. Bought Walmart sunglasses. Had them for 238 years.
@thepunningman: Robocop: I am Robotcop Criminal: You don't say the t you robo moron R: [visibly confused] Pu down he gun you are under arres
@MarlonBrandNO: ME: I wish I could just go back to the good old day FRIEND: don't you mean good old days? ME: no, I just had the one