@tsm560: Falling in love is just like falling down a well, except one is dank, dark and scary, and can really hurt you, and the other is a well.
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@TommyKarate: Thank you for calling. To speak with a human being, please hang up and travel back to the early 1990's.
@EricaWhoToYou: Dear Abby, I told my husband I didn’t want a grilled cheese when he was making one and now I want a grilled cheese. What do I do?
@INDlAN_: *lost in China* Friend: ask that man where we are Me [pretending to speak Chinese with a local]: xian chan sēn F: well? Me: we’re in China