@BBQJones28: Family cookouts are spent telling me to "stop...don't say that"
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@cray_at_home_ma: And on the 7th day God rested, but the children did not rest. So on Monday God made school and He sent the kids and all the people rejoiced.
@shkeeber: There's no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
@liv_thatsme: Me: Will I be happy in 2017? (peers into crystal ball) Me: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN Psychic: I don't know; I've never seen one explode before