@SunshineJarboly: *family meeting at Noah's house* who wants us to do what by when?
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@bazlyons: Turns out when you're asked who your favourite child is you're expected to pick from your own.
@cramoska: Make people question sincerity by adding quotations to your cards: "Thank You" Get well "soon" "Congratulations" on the "baby"
@TragicAllyHere: [Movie theater] *as the previews begin, I pull an entire ice cream cake out of my refrigerated cooler-purse*