@WilliamAder: Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they'd never get caught.
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@longwall26: If a deadly alligator appears in the instant after you tell your friends you'll see them later there is literally no way to warn them
@TOMayorFord: Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks forward and change smoke alarm batteries before going to bed tonight.
@ambamthankyamam: Hey people that twitter says are "similar to me", where do people like us put our car keys?!?!?!
@keplyq: guard your heart, cater to no man's ego, honor your own time and your energy, don't use uber. happy 2015.