@MoshBalls: Farting in the steam room was a bad judgement call.
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@doktorj: Adult me is pretty pissed that you can't learn to dance perfectly in the span of an 80's montage.
@murrman5: [wife looking at pictures of my dead body with police] "why isn't he wearing a shirt" we believe he removed it when he challenged the coyote
@704919828: Apparently googling "how to get suspended with pay" from my work computer is frowned on by my employer.