@WilliamAder: Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.
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@WetzelGeek: Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha.
@Book_Krazy: Me: It's late. I guess I'll go to bed. -My brain, who up until now has always been the logical one "Let's put up a tent in the living room"
@jbryantiii: As a young child my mom told me I could be anything I wanted to be. It turns out that the police call this identity theft.
@bggas400: She's got the face of an angel, a heart of gold, & a body that won't quit. Who cares that she curses like a trucker and drinks like a fish.