@tiReynard: Fat chances are my favorite chances
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@DaddyJew: *sees Earth trending* *whispering to self* please don't be dead, please don't be dead, please don't be dead
@Whitnuts: My liver's so black, it went to a respected college, got a great job, and made it's family very proud. Weren't expecting that, huh? Racist.
@Midgetspar: Just built a kite that'll hold my cat. Figured if a mouse helped discover electricity then my cat & I should be able to unlock time travel.