@Puncroaker: Father, pardon, excuse, exonerate, absolve, acquit, forgive me, for I have synonymed.
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@Underchilde: My girlfriend told me to “tread lightly.” So when I ran over her, I drove really slow.
@DanTaylorAuthor: Me: *gets in from fishing trip* Girlfriend: did you catch anything? Me: *sighs* just an old boot Girlfriend: okay, what's she called?
@ThisOneSayz: No thanks, heavy metal concert. If I want lots of screaming without understanding the words I'll just hang out with my toddler.