@Sarcasticsapien: Father's Day is a great time to give your father a tie so he can look extra nice at the job he settled for because you were born.
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@justabloodygame: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give Jesus a fish, and you and your family will eat nothing but that one fish for a lifetime.
@GrantTanaka: Shoutout to the wife for stacking her shampoo bottles in the shower like she's on her last 3 turns on Jenga.