@FilthyRichmond: Father's Day tip: Your Dad is busy this weekend.
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@MichaelLarrick: If white guys are day drinking, it's inevitable that they're going to start wrestling at some point later that night.
@fuzzlime: *finally gets comfortable with you* *starts whispering in your ear* "oooo baby I can recite all my phobias in alpha order"
@LionJenkins: Lawyer: Your Honor, this verdict is bullshit. I'm outta here! Judge: Litigator! Lawyer: After a while crocodile.
@Darlainky: What he said, "Let's just drop it." What I heard, "I can't think of a single way to win this argument, I bow to your wit and intelligence."