@Cllnsn: Fave bit of the Breaking Bad finale is when Ross is like "DID SHE GET OFF THE METH?" and then Rachel shows up and says "I got off the meth."
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@yayraptor: [at a bar] me: hey girl are u a wanted criminal girl: no me: oh ok [to a group of cops] shes not here, search the other building
@kuuuuuu: *When I see someone else jaywalk* "What an idiot." *When I jaywalk* "I am a trained professional. Do not attempt this yourself."
@crushingbort: sometimes when a man and a woman love each other very much they decide to bring a tiny shitting bald man screaming into the world