@TobyHater: Fax? Why don't you just send it over on a dinosaur?
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@TheCatWhisprer: [cat support technician] Me: So you're here to fix my computer? Cat: *nods* Me: Great, here it is. Cat: *lays on keyboard & falls asleep*
@jtrulez: Fear does not exist in this dojo. And neither does air conditioning or proper ventilation, so you will all be sparring in your underwear.
@jwoodham: VALENTINE'S DAY PLAN: Go to the homes of all couples who Instagram pictures of fancy restaurants and rob them while they're eating dinner.
@shawnspree: Girls that are 16 and pregnant look stupid now.. But their kids will move out when they are 34.