@TheTweetOfGod: Fear and ignorance would gay-marry each other if they weren't both opposed to it.
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@DaddyJew: Cop: you failed to obey the stop sign Me: I got lost in the music C: what song? M: I'd rather not say C: what song?!? M: I saw the sign
@OBiiieeee: Took a poop without my phone. Had no idea what to do with my hands. Did the Macarena. What a day.
@rolldiggity: Decades of video games have left me WAY too confident in my ability to break open a wooden crate.