@zachreinert03: Fear is not the same is respect. For instance I fear bears but integrity wise they are huge pieces of shit
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@krisv_723: Plot twist: I knock on Jehovah's Witnesses doors. "I'd like to talk to you about modern science "
@BuckyIsotope: [I time travel and bring back Shakespeare] SHAKESPEARE: What’s this? ME: That’s a meme SHAKESPEARE: What the hell is wrong with you people
@TheRolo: [Ouija board] Me: Demon? I-W-I-L-L-E-A-T-Y-O-U-R-E-S-O-U-L Me: *your Y-O-U-K-N-O-W W-H-A-T-I-D-O-N-T-W-A-N-T-Y-O-U-R-S-O-U-L-A-N-Y-M-O-R-E
@3sunzzz: Me: Did you finish the banana bread? 16: yep Me: Great, because it was actually a healthy zucchini bread. 16: THIS HOUSE IS FULL OF LIES!