@WilliamAder: A thing I learned at this week's staff meeting is that I have restless leg syndrome when I sleep.

@Book_Krazy: Boss: This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means? Me: That it's only Wednesday

@HeyZeus666: Two wrongs don't make a right. And two half-wits don't make a wit.

@TySmithdrums: Imagine a drunk porcupine trying to sneak into bed without waking his porcupine wife but his porcupine wife put balloons everywhere.

@LisAHHHHHHHH: please bring me a bottle of your freshest wine no more of this cheap old stuff