@AJslackie: Feed me once shame on you, Feed me twice i'm moving in.
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@robdelaney: The contents of my son's last diaper was so upsetting to both of us we shared a cigarette after I changed it.
@Reverend_Scott: Prince: Rapunzel, let down your hair. Rapunzel: Hair, you'll never be beautiful, you'll always have split ends. *hair is super let down*
@theevilwriter: The local news says we can tell there's been a power failure with their new app. Call me old fashioned but the lack of lights tips me off.
@rockymomax: [elementary school] BULLY: gimme your lunch money ME: no B: *grabs me by shirt* I said give it M: ok but this has to stop I'm your teacher