@MichaelGoffLA: Feed me pieces of baguette by the park bench like one of your French squirrels.
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@thatUPSdude: I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
@KelFocker: A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
@tarashoe: when i'm stressed i close my eyes and imagine i'm on a beach, neurotically pacing back & forth within a very small section of that beach