@TheRealRHB: Feeding some weed to the turkey so it will already be baked when we kill it... Will save sooo much time !
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@amishschool: My son, 5, scared of the thunder. I told him that was silly considering the sun could explode any day, killing us all. Think that helped.
@kelkulus: Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we're pigs.
@Pirate_nurse: If he's dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven't gotten my period."