@aimlessamers: *feeds you Cheetos while running my fingers through your hair*
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@david8hughes: [me narrating a documentary about the pyramids] I really want a Toblerone for some reason.
@LurkAtHomeMom: No sweetie, you can't have your giant chocolate bunny for breakfast, that's not healthy and also mommy ate it for dinner last night.
@TheBigBatman: During childbirth the pain is so great that a woman almost knows what it's like for a man to have the flu.