@aimlessamers: *feeds you Cheetos while running my fingers through your hair*
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@SadieSkyNinja: [if my cat tweeted] When "over 38" is sad and missing her boyfriend, I try and cheer her up by peeing on her shoes and puking on her phone.
@bridger_w: I know blood in horror movies is just corn syrup, but it's still terrifying because at this point, that's basically all my blood is
@duplicitron: I accidentally grabbed the wrong shopping cart but am hoping this kid will stop screaming soon because I am not raising a cry baby.