@SoVeryBritish: Feeling extremely smug after being the best at pulling over to let an ambulance pass
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@Mr_Kapowski: Her: What do your tattoos mean? Me: They're statement pieces. Statement being "I'm an idiot who shouldn't be in charge of my own body"
@SuperRandomish: If you walk up to me with a plate of food and say "Matt?" My name will always be Matt.
@c12h22o11balls: Me: Honey, where do we keep those legally binding documents our marriage is based on? Her: You mean the mortgage papers? Me: Yep those ones