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@ddsmidt: *Feels the chill*
Chill: I have a boyfriend
@ItsAndyRyan: Just finished a book about an immortal pet dog. I couldn't put it down.
@bornmiserable: [me, leaving a funeral]
That was fantastic. Let's do this again sometime.
@RevReee: I paid My 11 old $10 to do the dishes, so on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson.
@SkinnieTalls: Aliens: take me to your leader
Me: Hey babe, is it okay if we have company?
@phalguy: Nice guys finish last, cause stamina.