@kelkulus: Felix Baumgartner's 127,000 ft jump becomes world's greatest free fall, unseating previous record set by the 2008 US Economy. #spacejump
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@UnicornSyrup: "I decided I wanted to be a ninja so I googled "Ninja School", followed the link and the page could not be found. Well played, Ninja School"
@Tipocazzuto: Her: did you accidentally take an extra Ambien? Me: why? Her: who vacuums their bed? Me: the unicorns like a clean place to lay.