@kelkulus: Felix Baumgartner's 127,000 ft jump becomes world's greatest free fall, unseating previous record set by the 2008 US Economy. #spacejump
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@NateKofiStruck: The janitor lady for my apartment building asked me out on a date & said she had some weed. I told her I'm not into high maintenance women.
@Knob_ish: Scroll Scroll Scroll your phone, gently down the screen. Merilly Merrily Merrily Merrily MY GOD THAT'S OBSCENE!!!!!!!!!