@FavoritesYou: Felt bad about hitting a car yesterday but I remembered to leave a note. Didn't have a pen so I used my key.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AbbyHasIssues: If I won the lottery, I wouldn't go nuts. Probably buy some printer ink, and with what was left over, maybe an avocado.
@FatherWithTwins: Some Olympians have been training since they were 5. I'm hoping my 6yo comes home from summer camp today with 2 shoes on.
@pharmasean: [in hell] Me: *sneeze* The devil: bless you Me, waving as I float to heaven: haha, fool the devil: DAMN YOU Me, floating back to hell: dang