@SamuelHLowe: Fencing proves that with enough rules even a sword fight can be boring as hell.
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@: waiter: i'm sorry sir, but your card has been declined me: run it again waiter: i ran it three times me: *to my date* omg this is so embarrassing. do you mind taking care of it? her: no problem! *grabs waiter by the collar and pulls him close* he said run it again
@wickedsuga: Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing herself immediately after I pet her.
@PaulyPeligroso: A man caught me applying chap stick, so I just started eating it so it wouldn't be weird.