@allison_mick: FERRET OWNERS: EITHER GET A CAT OR A SNAKE STOP TRYING TO SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE
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@KingRainhead: Boy: do u have any fantasies Me: ok.. so.. the library of alexandria is under siege& Im a librarian whos good at fighting& I save the books
@IwanWil: I'm getting really good at this parenting thing. I just secretly ate 3 oreos while my kids were in the same room.
@squirrel74wkgn: One time, I pulled my pants down to moon someone & accidentally opened the car door instead of the window & rolled down the street naked.