@Scott_A_Gilmore: Few people know that inventor of the car alarm Enrico Irritanti never owned an automobile. He did, however, passionately hate his neighbors.
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@10InchesPlus: On the bright side, every moment Bieber spends Tweeting is a moment he isn't spending recording or performing music.
@Book_Krazy: Him: You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you darlin? Me: HOW DARE Y... Wait, did you just call me darlin
@Dr_awfulpants: [Water cooler] -Looks like you had a wild weekend! How'd you get the scratches? *flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah.