@BonesHer: Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.
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@DirtyySouthMess: Apparently it's not enough to just show up, you need to be wearing pants as well.
@splegge: Put a pill in wife's mouth while asleep "WTF you doing?" "for your headache." "I don't have one!" Just what I wanted to hear! *unzip flys
@TheTweetOfGod: Attention crazy man on the subway: this is God. Please start telling everyone else in the car what I'm saying to you.