@theyearofelan: Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
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@philandher96: "It helps knowing that everyone else will die with me if we crash." ~my 11yo on why she's not afraid to fly unaccompanied
@ojedge: DOCTOR: "Ok, now PUSH!" WOMAN IN LABOUR: "Should I be doing this in my state?" DR: [leaning out of car window] "Less talky, more pushy."
@samuelhlowe: The best way to return any clothing left at your place is to do a drive-by with a t-shirt gun on her wedding day.