@chelliet22: Fidel Castro was alive?
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@omgthatspunny: This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
@OreoSpeedwagon_: Note to self: hairspray does not kill spiders; it merely increases their strength and makes them look flawless all day.
@rolldiggity: 1. Put on clown shoes. 2. Sit in toilet stall with feet pulled up. 3. Wait for someone to enter other stall. 4. Slowly lower feet to floor