@SodomyClown: Fifty Shades of Grey instills that if a dude is sexy and rich you should allow him contractual ownership of your body because helicopters.
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@TallDarkHandsy: Told my 4 yo that his hamster died and that was in heaven with God. 4yo: Why would God want a dead hamster?
@Book_Krazy: "What's that?" A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in and I'm a little bit closer to freedom. *puts in dollar* "WTH!?!"
@Mr_Kapowski: I want to know the backstory of when an eyelash turns evil and says "That's it. I'm done protecting the eye. I'm going in to destroy it now"