@TheCiscoKidder: Fight Club, but instead of blowing up all the financial institutions, they reset all twitter follower counts back to zero.
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@GetCougarized: Whenever a guy boasts he has a party in his pants, I always ask him to prove it. If he's not packin nachos, beer and M&Ms, I'm going home.
@JasonLastname: Password insecurity questions: 1. What was your highschool nickname? 2. How would you describe your breath? 3. What's wrong with your toes?
@WilliamAder: I don't think a single person at the office noticed that I shaved off my mustache. All I heard all day long was, "Where are your pants?"
@eliserose5: If you are older than 17 and have mad love for Justin Bieber ,you are the reason whales are the most intelligent species.