@TheCiscoKidder: Fight Club, but instead of blowing up all the financial institutions, they reset all twitter follower counts back to zero.
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@NoogsCorner: Women just want to make us better men, not drain our life essence. And sharks are just trying to kiss us but their teeth get in the way.
@weinerdog4life: Literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don't even know it.
@philyuck: The Molotov cocktail is of course named after Vitaly Molotov, an 18th century Russian industrialist who exploded after being thrown at a car