@DopeyTweeter: Fight Club: Teaches you how imaginary friends can become more popular than you are.
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@DevilryFun: I tried giving a gentle reminder to my kids about cleaning their rooms, but a megaphone works much better.
@Maxine12333: If ex asks you to go bungee jumping remember, cord goes around feet not neck, no matter what they tell you.
@Avepates: Sometimes I like to hysterically tell mall security that my infant son has gone missing just so I can show people baby pictures of myself.