@BareChesty: Finally found a way to use egregious in a sentence that has nothing to do with it's meaning
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@daemonic3: FRIEND: Make sure you walk her to her car [hours later after date] HER: It's been 18 miles ME: I insist HER: But you drove both of us
@Jake_Vig: Survival Tip: If confronted by a dinosaur while hiking, politely but firmly explain that it is extinct.
@nerdsrockk: When a guy flirts with me I start blushing uncontrollably and I hide. Then I wait for them outside their house wearing a wedding dress.
@Molly_Kats: YOU TWEETED 23 TIMES TODAY. RT @realDonaldTrump People ask me what I do in my free time. The answer--I don't have any.