@noxxhell: Finally getting around to shaving my legs, blow drying them kept taking to long.
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@KarlreMarks: Say what you like about us Arabs, but at least we don't go to Africa and start naming lions 'Ahmad' and 'Hassan'.
@theshamingofjay: Waiter: how do you want your burger? Me: *points to girl at another table not taking a picture of her dinner* that rare
@beefman138: Historian : Rome wasn't built in a day. Me : [Trying to impress the girls] He's right, you know, it was built in Italy.
@zbinski: The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home.