@waydybee: Finally goes to open-mic night. gets on stage. bombs so badly gets arrested for terrorism. #BucketListFails
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@sacca: Anyone who says "Let's all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
@gerryhallcomedy: My kids don't believe that before video games, we used to have to go out and buy a hedgehog, paint it blue, then give it cocaine.