@urfavoritejoel: Finally got this fire hydrant open, but there was like, the opposite of fire inside
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: If we get to have sex with our valentines on Valentine's Day I can't wait until Presidents' Day.
@LittleMissZesty: No matter how good your raspberry body wash smells, don't be tempted to drizzle it over your ice cream. I've been burping bubbles for days.