@bryanmcc74: Finally I have an excuse for getting fat, heard on radio about girl who been eating in her sleep ... That's it, I've got that !
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@TinaMav: I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mother's room. I can't believe it... she's a superhero!
@BuckyIsotope: Sorry ISIS but we already have a religious state that nobody likes and is full of people that hate modern thinking: it's called Kansas.
@daemonic3: Girlfriend: Are you ready to be a dad? "I don't know, how would I know?" GF: I'm pregnant! "Hi Pregnant, I'm... OH MY GOD I'M READY"
@Rollinintheseat: Donald Trump always looks like he's trying to apply lip gloss in a rear view mirror.